That’s What She Said

Aging + Adulting, Everything Else

If you are looking for humor from “The Office”, you aren’t going to find it here today. You see, I just returned from my 2nd mom’s memorial service – her Celebration of Life. And, I did something very unexpected. I got up and spoke in front of 150 people. Afterward, I saw a few people pointing at me, and one said, “That’s what she said.”

So, I thought I’d share what I said. (Yes, it’s short, but it was all I could do to get the words out.)

“…People keep asking me – asking my family – how we are. Our response has been “okay.” And, I guess sometimes I do feel okay. However, the rest of the time I’m not okay. In fact, I’m far from okay. I feel like I have been handed a big bag of suck. Yet, it is in these times of suck that I stop to remember the lessons.

For over 25 years, Linda, my 2nd mom, has shared lessons with me…and she is still teaching me – teaching all of us – today. And, if you will allow me, I’d like to share these lessons with you.

The first lesson is fun. Linda taught me the importance of having a good time. It didn’t matter where or when she was able to add a party flair to anything. Just last night my dad was saying that Linda had a knack for telling people to go to hell in a way that they’d enjoy the trip. That was part of her Linda-ness – to have fun by living in laughter, joy, and love.

The next lesson is choice. She shared with me the wisdom of having a choice – that we always have a choice. No matter what my choices were – good or bad – she always supported them. She may not have always approved, yet she always supported. And, Lord knows, I did my fair share of the latter.

The third lesson is presence. So often we get caught up in the stories of the past or the wistfulness of the future that we forget to live in this moment. Linda teaches me that. She taught me that to breathe and to be and to live in this moment.

The final lesson I want to share with you is gratitude. Linda teaches me to be thankful for each and every moment. Sucky or not. Because each of the moments is a gift – a lesson. Gratitude doesn’t come from what we are without. Rather it is what we are within. And, within each of us lies Linda’s lesson. Within each of us lies the spirit of Linda.

Thank you.”

So, why am I sharing this with you? Linda’s lessons don’t just apply to those she touched; they apply to each and every one of us. How do I know? Because I finally listened to what she said.


With much love… ~Julie